Becoming Quiet to Improve Self Leadership

It is winter and cold in the Midwest and since we spend more time indoors during the winter, I thought we might reflect on ways to cultivate quiet in our lives.  Many of you know that the model of counseling I use allows us to be more in touch with our authentic, core Self.  It helps unburden and heal parts that keep us from being Self-led.

I believe we can also cultivate Self-leadership by learning to become quiet. If we are too busy, too distracted or just surrounded by too much noise, we will have a hard time staying connected to our own wisdom; our own best Self.   When we begin to invite quiet in our lives we reconnect with our inner spirit.  We get a better idea of who we were meant to be and we become more courageous in letting our external behavior match our internal sense of Self.

Practices to improve quiet focus:

• Meditate.  Learn the formal practice from a class or mentor or just sit quietly and allow whatever shows up in your awareness.

• Journal thoughts, opinions and feelings.  Uncensored writing can get us deeply in touch with Self.

• Try Guided Imagery.  Imagine yourself in a safe and beautiful setting and allow your mind to spend time there.  You can find tapes or a mentor to guide you in this process.

• Read something inspiring and explore your own thoughts and feelings about it.  Notice how your own wisdom can expand what you have read.

• Try Movement.  Explore disciplines that focus on the mind/body connection: Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong

• Engage in outdoor activities that inspire reflection:  walking; biking; canoeing; sitting by a lake; spending ten minutes in the sun

• Exercise without noise.  Feel attuned with your body. Let your mind explore.

Simple ways of remembering to create quiet focus:

• Turn off the TV, radio, computer, phone or anything that distracts or detracts from your ability to focus inward.  

• Keep things in sight that inspire reflection: art, natural objects or quotes that confirm you.

• Use soft background music, nature sounds or subdued lighting to invite calmness and quiet.

• Hold an object that invokes warm memories for you: a rock from a stream, a photo, a coffee mug given with love. 

• Have a place in your home that induces quiet and calm for you.  Go to that room, chair or pillow to remember to get in touch with Self.

• Several times a day, stop and focus on creating calm in your body.

• Follow your breath, noticing the natural, easy cycle of inhaling and exhaling.

• Scan your body for signs of tension and imagine your healing breath flowing into the places that are knotted or sore.

• Be mindful.  Whatever you are doing, do it with focus.  See, touch, taste and smell the food you are eating.  Experience what is right in front of you.  Feel the cold air on your face, notice and engage with the person you are buying a newspaper from, appreciate the soft shirt you are wearing.  Each bit of input from our senses creates a pathway to inner focus.

• Whenever you become aware of one of your parts, like a frustrated part or an impatient part, try to also become aware of Self and see if you can reassure the part and help it find calm.

Learn more about Internal Family Systems^SM at: www.selfleadership.org

 

© by Mary DuParri, MA, LPC